Privacy in Action: Fareedah Shaheed, Online Safety Educator

In interview with Fareedah Shaheed, we discuss the intersection of privacy and safety as well as tips for parents interested in keeping their kids safe online.

The subject of online safety is more important than ever, for adults as well as children. For our latest Privacy in Action, we interviewed online safety expert Fareedah Shaheed.

Fareedah Shaheed is an Award-Winning Online Safety Educator and a Forbes 30 Under 30 honoree. She specializes in helping parents and caretakers protect their kids online. Her work has been featured in Cisco, NASA, FOX 25, FOX 46, FOX Carolina, The Grio, Yahoo!, AfroTech, and many more.

Interview with Fareedah Shaheed

Startpage: One of our favorite questions to ask privacy leaders is: What does privacy mean to you?

Fareedah Shaheed: To me, privacy means we all have the freedom to show up in any way we would like to. Basically, privacy is the ability to be selective about the information we share with others.   

Startpage: What does it mean to be a third culture child? And how has that shaped who you are?

Fareedah Shaheed: Being a third culture child means that you grew up in a culture different than your parents. My parents were born and raised in the US, and I was born in the US, but we moved to Saudi Arabia when I was 8. This experience has shaped me in many different ways, one big way is how I communicate to my clients and audience. I’m keenly aware of different cultures and family dynamics and how they impact a family’s security and safety decisions. This also leads me to have a no-parent shaming policy when it comes to educating on online safety.

For my personal life, being a third culture child has lead to having multi-cultural interests in fashion, music, movies, relationships, and even opinions on life. My third-culture identity used to be confusing but now I fully embrace it and even started a podcast called The Accidental Arab to process my experiences and feelings around the topic. I believe that third culture experiences are extremely important for creating lasting change and cross-culture understanding in the world. I’m proud of my full identity and I wouldn’t change it for the world.

Startpage: How does privacy and safety intersect?

Fareedah Shaheed: The ability to remain selective about the information you share is very similar to the ability to keep certain information safeguarded and out of the wrong hands. Because of this privacy and safety intersect in countless ways. One big way is our daily decisions on how much we do or don’t share with “big tech”. 

Startpage: What inspired you to start Sekuva? Can you tell us more about how it helps parents and children?

Fareedah Shaheed: I’ve always had an interest in the human side of cybersecurity. The technical side was fun but I couldn’t see myself creating lasting change. So to fulfill this burning desire to create an impact, I started Sekuva because I believed that there needed to be a more heart/soul-centered approach to educating non-tech-savvy families on protecting themselves online. I wanted what I created to be a safe, non-judgmental space to understand and implement online safety. Sekuva means a well of security knowledge. The knowledge that people can keep coming back to for nourishment. The knowledge that flows and is easy to “sit with”. Meaning that people didn’t feel like online safety was rocket science and they truly felt equipped to protect their families online. This is why I often mention “holistic online safety” which means giving kids the freedom that they want and the safety and security that they need. Online safety isn’t just about tech it’s about cultivating safe spaces offline and online, internally and externally. 

Startpage: What advice would you give a parent new to privacy and cybersecurity?

Fareedah Shaheed: I would say to give yourself some grace, no one was born with this knowledge and it’s okay to not know where to start. It’s important to know that you don’t have to be tech-savvy or even know more than your kids to protect them online. As a parent, you’re their guide, you don’t need to know what the entire staircase looks like. You just need to guide them through the steps you do see in front of you. Be sure to ask for help whenever you need it because you weren’t meant to do this alone! 

Startpage: How can parents keep their children safe online while respecting their privacy?

Fareedah Shaheed: The first thing to focus on is connections over controls. Meaning everything you do is to connect with them and to keep them safe. So, whether you monitor them or not, you need to work on establishing a healthy relationship with them where it becomes a safe space for both of you to be human. And while going to therapy and healing from trauma doesn’t feel like a correct answer to this question I would highly recommend both as a way to find harmony between keeping them safe and respecting their privacy. Ultimately everything leads back to self, so do what you can to create a healthy relationship with yourself and heal from your past so that you’re better able to make healthy decisions for their lives. Many decisions we make comes from our wounding and the purpose of digging deep and healing is to make sure that whatever we put in our children’s lives is what’s best for them and not us either transferring trauma or living out of fear and/or avoidance. This beginning said…take a deep breath! You got this! Remember that there really isn’t one correct answer. Parental monitoring/controls is a hot topic and I recommend that you have continuous conversations around the what, why, and how. But no matter what decision you make be sure to include your children in them. This isn’t to just go with whatever they say but it’s to allow them to voice their opinion and come up with a solution that works best. And if you ever choose to monitor your kids be sure to let them know that you are and why you are doing this. And I highly recommend that you revisit the topic and decision to monitor as they get older. Because no matter how much you monitor or control, they will see and do things that you don’t know about. This is why it’s important to have a holistic approach and focus on building a healthy relationship and having continuous open conversations rather than trying to control everything.  

Startpage: We hear you’re an avid gamer. What are your favorite consoles and how do you protect your privacy/security on them?

Fareedah Shaheed: Yes, I absolutely love gaming as a downtime activity. Personally, I’m a fan of PC gaming, and I follow the foundational guidelines on keeping safe. This means I don’t use my real name and instead have come up with a nickname that I go by. I’m careful with what gaming applications I download, I don’t share my login details with other gamers, I use unique and strong passwords and enable two-factor authentication whenever available. Another way I stay safe is by always having an easy to mute button when in voice chat, it’s something that’s often overlooked however there have been so many occasions where people have leaked really sensitive information because they didn’t have a mute button or didn’t mute themselves.

If you have kids that are gamers I recommend that you connect with them via gaming by either listening to them talk about their games, watching them play, or playing with them!

This helps create a beautiful bond and will give you some more insights on how to keep them safe as well as why they love the game so much!

 Startpage: How do you envision data privacy in the future? 1 year, 10 years, lifetime?

Fareedah Shaheed: I envision more innovative solutions to the problems we are facing now. While privacy will become more complex, there are already more resources and assistance to start to understand what’s going on and the steps everyone can take to implement more privacy into their lives.

Startpage: Would you rather share your search history or play only 1 game for the rest of the year?

Fareedah Shaheed: Ohh this is an easy one! Play only one game for the rest of the year of course lol!

Startpage: Is there anything else you would like to share?

Fareedah Shaheed: I would love everyone to know that no matter who you are, there is a place for you, and you have the ability to understand and implement online safety into your life. It doesn’t have to be scary.